


As Many As It Takes

by raendown



Series: Uchiha Courting Rituals [3]
Category: Naruto
Genre: F/F, F/M, I'm not tagging every single relationship, M/M, Multi, Uchiha Are Weird, but at least everyone's happy, that'd be a lot of tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-06-04
Packaged: 2019-05-18 07:56:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14848781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raendown/pseuds/raendown
Summary: Wedding bells chime in the nearby future but who are they chiming for?





	As Many As It Takes

**Author's Note:**

> Another sequel to Love Done Right and In Keeping With Tradition. You should probably read those first if you haven't.

Less than a decade ago if someone had asked Tobirama to sit down in the company of even just one Uchiha without reaching for a weapon he would have laughed in their face. Now he sat calmly in a room with six different men and women all from a clan he had once considered his mortal enemies, all of them intermingled with the members of his own family, calmly enjoying his shochu and very carefully planning out how he would later seduce Madara in to calming the fuck down.

Seductions, he had found, were his most effective weapon against Madara’s rage. Evidently his partner found it very difficult to remain angry with his cock halfway down another man’s throat.

Taking another fortifying sip, Tobirama reflected that life was strange and the Uchiha were stranger. There wasn’t a single person in here wearing the Uchiha fan who wasn’t currently bearing some sort of injury with loving pride. However they had come to the conclusion generations ago that violence should be connected to romance, he at least applauded them for being so straight forward. His own dating history was rocky and sparse due entirely to the fact that social subtleties just weren’t his forte. At least with Madara the only flirting he needed was a swift punch with loving intentions.

It was very likely, however, that he would soon be witness to violence sans the loving intentions. He knew exactly why they had all been gathered here tonight and it was only in part to congratulate Touka on her successful hunting endeavors. Truthfully they were here to reveal a secret to the only person here who still didn’t know, the only person here whose reaction they had all been slightly wary of.

Rightfully fearful of his brother’s reaction to learning he’d entered a courtship of his own, Izuna had pulled a few strings and recommended Madara for a diplomatic mission repairing current relationships with Kirigakure which had kept him away from home for a full three weeks. In that time Izuna and Hashirama had gone through the entirety of the lightning fast Uchiha courtship and come out the other side ready to be married – and that was when they hit a small snag, the same snag Touka had hit upon in her own adventures. Marriages in the Uchiha clan required the permission of their clan Head. With Madara out of the village there could be no marriages performed.

Tobirama rather carefully avoided mentioning the slight tyrannical overtones that suggested to him. Keeping peace was a delicate balance and he could only get on his knees so many times in one day to calm his beloved down.

His thoughts were interrupted then by the thundering of a fist against wood: Touka rapping her knuckles on the table in the center of the room. A large portion of the room immediately looked up at her with worship in their eyes, something Tobirama knew he would have to get used to seeing at family gatherings yet still struck him as a bit overwhelming. One was all he needed, thanks.

Nevertheless, he politely gave the desired attention to his cousin.

“Alright. We all know why we’re here. And most of us know the _other_ reason we’re here but I’m obviously more important so listen up. Group wedding. Two weeks. Madara, I need those marriage licenses.”

“Ugh, do you know how much paperwork that’s going to be?” Madara crossed his arms and settled closer in to his partner’s side. Feeling generous at the moment, Tobirama wound one arm around his shoulders and held him protectively, fortifying him against the coming administrative duties that came with being clan Head.

“Don’t care,” Touka replied with a grin. The candles providing light in the room gave her face an eerie cast as the shadows danced between her teeth.

At her feet, a dark haired woman in Uchiha robes let out a dreamy sigh and rested her head against Touka’s leg. From next to both of them there came a light growl which made Touka look down with an inquisitive expression that quickly turned in to a smug grin. Leaning over, she petted her hand across the top of the Hikaku’s head.

“Now, now. Be good and maybe we can spar before bed,” she murmured. Like a steel trap the man’s jaw snapped shut, his face immediately falling in to a startled expression which almost seemed to question how he had gotten here. Noticing the raised eyebrows from her family, Touka laughed. “They’re still learning how to share.”

Fascinated by how well the Uchiha traditions suited her own personality, Touka wasted no time following in the footsteps of her two cousins, marching herself straight in to the Uchiha district and committing violence against several members of their clan. Although her partners might appear to have been chosen on a whim, in truth she had carefully considered each and every one of them, attaching herself only to the strongest of the ones she had actually spoken to and whose company she already knew she enjoyed.

Of the four she had chosen to court there were two men, one woman, and one person whose gender appeared to shift fluidly towards whatever felt right to them at the time. Upon learning that they would all be expected to share the same wife there immediately sprang up an informal hierarchy among them, at the top of which sat a very tired looking Hikaku. His entire face looked slightly misaligned from all the hits he had taken in the name of love and it was hard to tell if he was up on cloud nine from it all or if he was regretting his decision to fight his way to the top of the heap so harshly.

Tobirama had never seen a man face palm while wearing a reverent expression before but Hikaku was getting pretty good at that. He was also getting rather good at watching Touka with stars in his eyes even as his hands absently wrangled one of the others in to better behavior.

“So yeah. Get it done, Uchiha. I have lovers to love and – oh shit, yeah. Cousin, can you extend my house? I need room for all these yahoos.” Touka gestured broadly to the four sitting around her. Still pressed against his own partner’s side, Madara snorted.

“In my own time,” he grumbled half to himself. She snorted back at him.

“Well make your own time fast.”

“Extending your house won’t be a problem,” Hashirama said from where he was sitting primly next to Izuna. Their bodies were carefully placed to allow for the proximity which came with sitting together on the same couch yet keeping their posture straight enough that they couldn’t be accused of having sat together on purpose.

Touka nodded with as much grace as she was capable of. “Good. Well. Here’s to me and my – what did Izuna call it? My harem! Here’s to me and my harem!”

She raised her glass with another cocky grin, her free hand absently tracing the ear of the woman cuddled up to her leg again. Uchiha, as it turned out, had a startling tendency towards cat-like behaviors such as butting their heads against their partners. If Tobirama weren’t so fond of cats himself he would never have made the connection but once he had it had explained a great many things. And he had, of course, immediately passed this observation around to the others of his family who had embroiled themselves in the clutches of the fire-breathing maniacs.

Case in point: as soon as Madara had taken a sip from his glass of shochu he went right back to fiddling with the tie of Tobirama’s obi, batting at the dangling bit of fabric without seeming to consciously realize he was doing so.

Once everyone had taken a drink as a toast, Touka gave her eldest cousin a smug leer.

“Anyway, didn’t someone else also have some news they would like to share?” She cackled at the way he flushed and Mito hid a smile behind one hand. Hashirama cleared his throat awkwardly, glancing over at his best friend, then handed his cup off to Mito and very carefully laid one hand on Izuna’s knee.

Madara tensed, eyes narrowing immediately. Hashirama swallowed nervously but forged on with a brave face.

“Yes! Ah. Um.” He squirmed in his seat, twisting up the brand new robe he was wearing. He’d been seated in the same place since before everyone arrived so no one had seen the back of it but Tobirama would have bet his favorite sword that there was a red and white fan stitched between the man’s shoulder blades. “We have some news for you, my friend. I-Izuna gifted me some new, um, clothing about a week ago. And I’m wearing them. And I was hoping that it wouldn’t be too much trouble for you to maybe – pleasedon’tkillme – write up a marriage license for us too?”

“Perhaps I’m going deaf but that sounded as though you were asking my permission to marry my little brother, Hashirama.” Madara’s face had gone dark and his tone foreboding. Across the room, Hikaku sighed and dropped his head between his knees, covering his head protectively with both arms just in case. The rest of Touka’s partners followed suit immediately while Hashirama continued to squirm.

“Yes? I mean. Yes. I mean! I don’t…need your permission?”

Izuna bit his lip to keep from laughing even as he laid his hand over top of Hashirama’s for support and gave it a light squeeze. “We sort of do, love.”

“What the _hell_! I thought we were friends, Hashirama! Then you go behind my back and seduce my baby brother!?”

“Uh…Madara?” Hashirama’s nervous expression fell away as he turned his head to give a pointed look at his own younger brother before turning back to his friend with one eyebrow raised. Madara flushed.

“Shut up! I thought you knew what I was doing the whole time so that’s different!”

“Aniki, come on,” Izuna said. “We’re in love! You wouldn’t really deny me the chance to marry for love, would you?” He paired the question with a shameless wobble of his lower lip. When it was mirrored with the same expression from Hashirama, every other person in the room came to the sudden realization of the monster they had allowed to be created right before their eyes.

Madara, on the other hand, retained his indignity through sheer habit.

“I – but – you – it’s not fair! And it isn’t right! You’re my baby brother and you’re not allowed to have sex. Baby brothers are never allowed to have sex!”

Beside him, Tobirama rolled his eyes and calmly reached out to snatch up one of the candles flickering away on the table beside him. Without so much as changing expression he shoved the flame straight at Madara’s face, jerking it away just in time to avoid burning him yet not in time to save his eyebrows.

A hush fell over the room as a whole, all eyes on Madara, who sat blinking in astonishment with one hand slowly rising up to feel around the area where his eyebrows had been only moments ago. It appeared to take a few moments for the truth to sink in that they were, in fact, no longer there. When it did he whipped his head around to stare at an unnaturally calm Tobirama.

“You just…did you…?”

“I think a group wedding for all of us might be nice,” Tobirama said, entirely ignoring his partner’s spluttering. “Just to get it all done and out of the way at once. Less planning. More efficient.”

“You just _proposed_.”

Now openly leaning in to Hashirama, Izuna snickered. “I sure hope it was on purpose this time.”

Touka eyed the candles closest to her and then eyed her four lovers. Each of them looked back up at her with brilliant grins, some of them still with patches of hair missing from where their own faces had been met with flame. Definitely a weird clan.

“Yes, yes,” Tobirama was saying. “Of course it was on purpose this time. Now. You don’t mind writing up a couple more marriage licenses, do you? Wouldn’t it be nice to be married at the same time as your brother?” He waited for Madara to nod dreamily and then turned to his own sibling with a look which said _you’re welcome_.

“Thank you,” Hashirama chirped in return.

“And congratulations,” Mito added.

Shaking his head, Tobirama tugged Madara back down in to the crook of his arm and stroked the back of his hair soothingly while he continued to murmur softly to himself in a dazed voice, successfully distracted from freaking out over Izuna and Hashirama. The pair of men in question both gave Tobirama a grateful look while Mito continued to struggle with holding in her amusement.

Touka drained the rest of her cup of shochu in one long pull before slamming it down on the closest table with a satisfied sigh.

“Alright, now that all that’s settled, me and mine should probably head out. I’m really digging this idea of a spar before bed. Whoever gets a good hit on me first gets first dibs on fucking me in to the mattress!”

None of her partners needed any more encouragement than that to scramble up on to their feet and make a break for Hashirama’s front door. Tobirama noted with mild interest that Hikaku made it through first, if only by tripping up his other male contender and using his longer legs to gain speed as soon as he was out on the front porch. Beyond enjoying the spectacle they made of their competitiveness, Tobirama tried not to think about the reason behind it, only waved goodbye as his cousin followed them all out.

“Should we go home as well?” he asked the great cat of a man curled up against his side. Madara’s muted ramblings paused and he tensed with indecision; should he go home with Tobirama and enjoy a pleasantly violent round of celebratory sex? Or should he stay here and guard his younger brother’s already questionable virtue simply on principle?

“I don’t know…” Madara scowled indecisively until Tobirama leaned over to whisper in his ear.

“What if I promise to tie you to the headboard when we get there?”

“Home – go – now!” No one saw fit to comment on the way Madara’s voice cracked on his words, although Tobirama did allow himself a smirk as he calmly rose from the couch to lead the way back to Madara’s home, which he had all but officially moved in to at this point.

Izuna, Mito, and Hashirama all waved goodbye from their spots of the couch, Hashirama wearing a smile fit to outshine the sun. Just before he made it out the front door Tobirama was able to catch a glimpse of Izuna and Mito both leaning in to use their lover’s broad chest as a pillow and in the silence of his mind he offered his congratulations to them all for finding a family that would bring them happiness. It seemed to be going around lately.

Less than a decade ago he would have laughed in the face of anyone who dreamt up such wild things as a Senju marrying an Uchiha. Five years ago he would have scrunched up his nose is distaste and declared it plausible but not for him. Now every day of the rest of his life would be filled to the brim with more Uchiha than he ever would have thought himself able to handle – one of whom he would wake up to every morning. And by some crazy circumstance he could hardly wait.

Perhaps at some point he should get around to thanking his brother for standing by his own dreams and building the village, for laying down the foundations to make so much happiness possible. For now, however, he planned on being quite busy showing his appreciation to Madara first.


End file.
